Commence 2010

There are moments and sometime entire days that I just feel old. In example, I daily receive messages with "LOL" in it. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE to laugh. In fact, Mary Poppins contains one of my favorite bits about laughing loud and long and clear. But what I don't comprehend is why things like, "I think I'm going to get fired." or "She kissed my boyfriend" or "I hate your guts." would cause anyone to sincerely laugh out loud? And when someone writes this in a message after such news, is it a command? Am I supposed to laugh out loud? Or does it mean that the sender is laughing out loud as they describe their darkest, saddest moments?

I'm not that literal of a person, so I know that nobody is actually laughing. And this is where the grumpy old woman in me surfaces. Why do we want to limit our emotional range to that of occasionally relevant acronyms? And when I say "we", I really don't mean "me". But all of this has been said by far wiser and better writers than I. What truly worries me is this: why does it make ME so grumpy?! This is, after all my blog, and as a result it really IS always all about me.

I have a theory. I also have a 4 year old. He's a real stickler for details. In example, if one were to mispronounce a word in any song that he may know (which is a surprisingly large repertoire), you would unleash his fury. Arms would wave wildly up and down, accompanied by repeated shouts of "NO! NO! NO!" until you stop singing. Some people have worked up a tolerance to the arm waving and screaming, so they make it a little longer than the uninitiated, but no one lasts long under the criticism. No one, that is, except his 3 yr old brother. The 3 yr old has inherited the desire to irritate his sibling. (It comes from my side of the family and has been developed into a world class skill amongst the elders.) The inevitable showdown is surprisingly well-matched. The 3 yr has the advantage of a louder voice and a more aggressive personality. The 4 yr old has the slight advantage of size coupled with a dogged determination. The weak points are also a significant factor in the outcome. The 4 yr old's final and greatest insult is to say, with finger rigidly raised and a glare in his eye, "I'm POINTING at you!" While, as his Mom, I am thrilled that this is typically the peak of his aggression, it's not great for him in a battle scene. The 3 yr old's weakness is that he just will not outlast his brother's determination to see this conflict through, which means he's going to grow weary of the pointing and the fun of irritating his older brother begins to fade and eventually he will escalate to a punishable offense. I will intervene and there will be time outs and discussions.

Now, I'm a peaceful woman. As a result, I choose to avoid things like political talk radio, WWE matches, and early morning WalMart on Black Friday. Thus, the inevitable conflict that results from inaccuracies are a real thorn in my side. I love my boys and genuinely enjoy spending my days with them, if we could just bypass these disputes, it'd be close to perfect. And so it is that slight misstatements disrupt my serenity. Loss of serenity= grumpy. And this is my theory: I fear miscommunications. I fear the conflict it brings into my peaceful world. Thus, my dislike for the acronyms of today's world. At least, it gives me a deeper answer than just simply that I'm aging into a inflexible, literal woman destined to dye my hair blue and scold anyone who speaks too loudly into my hearing aid. LOL.